Desire

I went to see the film Twilight this weekend.  I had been resisting, thinking I'm too old for a film aimed at teenagers.  However, I do have a weakness for beauty, and Robert Pattinson is certainly a beautiful boy.  But for god's sake, I'm old enough to be his mother.  Anyway, I decided to succomb, and gave myself permission to pretend I was 20 as I watched so I could enjoy it.

What a guilty pleasure!  But there were consequences.  I've been consumed with longing for days.  The story is basically all about desire - not so much how it gets acted upon, but about the glorious experience of wanting.   A couple of years ago, a friend told me she can't look into a painting I have of the world of fairy, cause if she does, she might get stuck there.  I feel a little bit like that after this movie.  I almost jumped a stranger at a party the other night.  Today a very sweet young boy helped me in a store and was flirting with me, and I liked it.  Ugh, boundaries!

What is it about desire, anyway?  I say that most popular art has at its root some unfulfilled passion between two characters, and we the audience keep going back to be kept on that hook of wanting.  But why?  Why is wanting more exciting than having?  

I've always thought there's nothing wrong with desire.  It's what you do with it that can have issues.  But I feel bad getting crushes on people markedly younger than me.  But I also don't want to make myself older than I feel, suppressing all my desires.

Plus, there is the plotpoint that he says he will love her forever, while he stays forever 17.  I just don't believe that he'll feel the same way when she hits 30 or 40.  

Eh, no grand conclusions.  Just food for thought.